Standard coach seats $40
Old-timers 60 and over $35
Youngins 12 and under $30 – but likely will be exposed to a level of tackiness that can forever warp their little minds.

Groups – gaggles, litters, packs or herds of 12 or more $35
Tips are not necessary – but gas money is strongly advised!
The bus seats locals, Yankees, or furriners alike.
Special rates are available – for private parties, hillbilly reunions, or corporate events.

Check your closets – Redneck clothing is usually worn at least 2 sizes too small.
Hat or cap – what are you trying to hide?
Overalls – hell yeah.
Wife beaters – shame on you
Belt Buckles – the bigger the better.
Shoes – If you happen to bring them. Also remember to proudly display all tattoos and please note a comedy tour means laughing and smiling.
Don’t forget your teeth.

This Ain’t Your Granny’s Picnic!
Drinks – Bring any beverage of your liken’ — we’re not checkin’ what your sippin’ —but keep it classy folks!
Coolers Are Allowed – Size, gals think “carry-on luggage.”  Guys, think “tackle box.”
Just Good Eatin’ – Roadkill, discouraged. Home-baked goods, plan to share – after all, we are family.
Other appropriate eats– Beef jerky,  pork rinds, meat from a can, Goobers, Whoppers, and, of course, Goo Goos and Moon Pies.
For all you vegetarians, vegans, and other fruit cakes– just bring gum.